To the Spider on my ceiling

Dear Spider,

I first noticed you on Monday morning when I walked into my office. I must admit that my first instinct was to get something to hit you with, I'm not a big fan of spiders. However, I spared your life on the basis that you are tiny (and therefore less scary) and also that you are on the opposite wall from my desk - so I can keep my eye on you and run away if you start moving towards me!

Since Monday I have been watching you and monitoring your progress, or rather your lack thereof. It is now Thursday, and in the 4 days since I noticed you, you have moved about 30 cm. On Tuesday morning you had ventured a little further into the middle of the room but by Wednesday you had gone back towards the wall and there you have stayed. You are not dead because you have moved around, albeit only slightly.

I have been watching you, as I say, and pondering various questions. For example, what are you eating? You do not appear to have made a web and my ceiling does not seem like the best place to catch flies (my boss really likes the fly spray!). I don't know much about Spider biology so I don't know how often you need to eat - maybe you just aren't hungry yet.

I have also been wondering about the purpose of your life, sitting on a ceiling can't be very fulfilling. I tried to imagine what it might be like for you sitting there watching me going about my daily business. Perhaps you think that it is me who is unfulfilled, rushing about all day while you sit restfully, contemplatively on the ceiling. Perhaps you are right.

Anyway I must go now, much to do. Please be reassured that I will not be coming after you with a newspaper or anything, that would be rude now we are correspondents. However, I suggest you maintain a safe distance from my desk or I will have to reconsider. I imagine that you will move on eventually but until that time I shall keep watching and wondering.

Regards

The girl at the desk below

P.S. To my non-spider readers. I think lack of sleep and over-studying have caused me to lose my mind temporarily. Normal service will be resumed shortly once the men in white coats bring it back!